


A Fluffy Diversion

by samariumwriting



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Stuffed Toys, Trans Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 11:02:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27469960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samariumwriting/pseuds/samariumwriting
Summary: Felix is having a bad day. Sylvain has the perfect plan as to how to help out.-"How about we do something else? To distract you a bit."Felix's frown deepens. "I've already tried that," he says, but even as he opens his mouth Sylvain looks so hopeful. Felix can't say no to that stupid face. "Fine. We can try.""Great!" Sylvain leaps off the sofa, a huge smile on his face. "We're going to Build-A-Bear."
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 22
Kudos: 98





	A Fluffy Diversion

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Oliver__Niko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oliver__Niko/gifts).



> This piece was a commission for Oliver (whose 3h twitter is @nikobynight), who's a great friend and was also a pleasure to write a fic for!

The words of his book swim in front of his eyes again, and Felix squeezes them closed. He wishes this would just... work. What's the point in trying to take a break, trying to distract himself from everything he needs to do or confront or sort through or organise or-

He's spiralling again. Go him.

Felix forces his eyes back to the page for what feels like the hundredth time. He doesn't know why he's still bothering, honestly - this isn't working. No matter what he does or tries, he can't keep his mind off the feeling of everything around him. The brush of clothes against his body, always clinging too close to his chest, his hips. Even every fucking blink reminds him of how many people have complimented his long, pretty,  _ feminine  _ eyelashes.

He needs to stop thinking about this. He wishes he could, but it just won't go away.

Attempting to force his focus back to the pages in front of him once more, Felix is this time interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. It's Sylvain, of course.

"Good afternoon, Fe," he greets quietly, immediately plonking himself down on the sofa next to him.

"Afternoon," he replies. He wishes he could feel more than a tiny spark of relief at his boyfriend's return. But even as Sylvain leans in to press a kiss to his forehead, there's a sour taste in his mouth.

"No better, I guess?" Sylvain asks. His presence at Felix's side is steady, warm. He doesn't even put an arm around him, instead staying back.

It's sweet, Felix supposes. Sylvain knows how he gets - when he feels like this, even the feeling of Sylvain wrapped around him, something that's usually so comforting, makes him feel small. And small is never good when he wishes he had just a few more inches on his height.

How considerate Sylvain is makes him feel better for a moment, but it's just that - a glimmer in the dark. No more. It won't last long, and from then any affection from Sylvain will feel nothing more than misplaced and half-fake, invested in the wrong person for too long.

"No better," Felix confirms, trying to pull his thoughts out of that particular spiral. Sylvain nods, ever understanding, and Felix lets out a groan. "I just want it to  _ end  _ already. I want to feel better."

"I know," Sylvain says softly. He's always so gentle. "How about we do something else? To distract you a bit."

Felix's frown deepens. "I've already tried that," he says, but even as he opens his mouth Sylvain looks so  _ hopeful.  _ Felix can't say no to that stupid face. "Fine. We can try."

"Great!" Sylvain leaps off the sofa, a huge smile on his face. "We're going to Build-A-Bear."

"We're doing what?" Felix can only pull a face at the mere thought of it. He hasn't been anywhere like that since he was little, and he never really thought about going again. It was just kind of something he'd grown out of. "Why?"

"I thought it'd be fun," Sylvain replies, his smile still excited. "We don't have to if you'd rather not, but-"

"I didn't say that," he replies, forcing the words out as quickly as he can. Even when Felix is in this kind of mood, Sylvain's excitement and joy is at least the tiniest bit infectious. He doesn't want to be the one who wipes that smile off Sylvain's face.

Sylvain keeps up exactly the same energy as he practically bounds out to the car, grinning at Felix when he joins him. Going out in public maybe isn't his first choice for a day like today, but Sylvain will be there the whole time. He can cope.

They don't talk as Sylvain drives; instead, Felix closes his eyes against the movement of cars all around him (it's better, he's found, not to look at all the people blatantly violating road laws. Sylvain is much better at managing it than he is) and Sylvain turns on the radio.

Felix doesn't recognise the song, but Sylvain clearly does. He sings to that one, then the next, and the next, and Felix tries to lose himself in the sound. He loves Sylvain's singing voice, always insists that Sylvain doesn't sing around the house enough (Sylvain, in turn, denies that he's any good, says that Felix wouldn’t be any better off hearing him), but he can't stop that same bitter feeling from rising in his chest.

Normally, he joins Sylvain when he sings in the car, so long as it’s just the two of them. He isn't nearly as good, but Felix can sing the tune while Sylvain adds a harmony. He feels like if he tried that today he might sink into the earth and die.

Felix tries to push it out of his mind for the rest of the journey, simply enjoying the rise and fall of Sylvain's voice. The journey isn't long, and when they arrive it isn't quite as bad as Felix expected - he was anticipating hordes of children and lights that seemed ten times brighter to him than everyone else, and loud cutesy pop music (and not even the good kind). There are still a few people around, and the lights are definitely a  _ little  _ too much, but it's okay.

Besides, it's not like Felix has to do too much. He holds onto Sylvain's right hand with his left and hangs back a little, letting Sylvain do the talking. When the shop assistant greets them, asking if they need any assistance, Sylvain replies with a huge smile on his face. 

"Hi," he says, squeezing Felix's hand at the same time. It's reassuringly grounding. "We don't need any direction or anything, it's okay. I know how it goes, and I want a little time with my boyfriend."

Felix has heard the words a hundred times before, but they still light a little fire in his heart. Especially when the person in front of them doesn't bat an eyelid at the words, like there's no doubt that Felix is exactly who Sylvain says he is. It pushes a little of the rot from his chest, and his mind feels just a little clearer.

Felix is still grateful for Sylvain's hand in his as they move on, though. "Look at all these disemboweled bears," Sylvain says, sweeping his left arm out to survey the tubs full of bear skins.

"That's the most cursed thing I've ever heard you say," Felix says, as if he hasn't said that exact phrase at least three times this week. Still, Sylvain laughs, and Felix can't help but chuckle alongside him.

"Do you think they call them skins?" Sylvain asks, leading Felix to the piles of fluffy outer layers.

"I don't see why they wouldn't." Felix is, honestly, trying not to get too into the process of picking out a bear; it makes him feel like he's being childish. But he can't stop himself from at least  _ looking. _

"I don't know," Sylvain said, picking up a particularly floppy-looking rabbit bear. "By calling them skins, they imply the existence of all the other organs these creatures may or may not have."

"I'm pretty sure it's not that deep," Felix shoots back, his eyes falling on a basket of skins (Goddess, thinking about it like that really does sound cursed now) right at the end. He can't deny that maybe those ones interest him. "Can I get a closer look at those?"

Sylvain chuckles. "I thought you might like those ones," he says. "Do you want the pink one, or are you more interested in a regular kind of cat?"

"Give me more than a second," he grumbles, and Sylvain laughs again, doing exactly that. He pokes around the basket, holding up the different designs to try and work out exactly what they'll look like with stuffing inside.

Eventually, he settles on a tuxedo cat, letting its legs dangle from his hand as he presents it to Sylvain. "Very you," Sylvain says, and Felix narrows his eyes just slightly. Sylvain probably planned this whole thing.

He doesn't actually mind. He feels more like himself already. "What did you pick in the end?" he asks.

Sylvain grins. "I thought I'd go for this one," he says, grabbing an absolute monstrosity of multicoloured fur and sparkles. Felix grimaces.

"Really?" he asks.

Sylvain's answering laugh is worth the momentary worry that he'd layered the sarcasm on too thick. "As much as I love it, I don't think it quite matches my aesthetic." He drops the poor, ugly thing back into the bucket and pulls out a red panda skin instead.

"That definitely fits you," Felix says, and Goddess he does  _ not  _ know why Sylvain smiles so brightly at that, but he's not going to complain.

With the bears chosen, they head over to the stuffing machine. The member of staff there greets them with a cheerful smile and hands them each a small plush heart. Felix faintly remembers coming here in the past and hearing a whole spiel about 'putting all your love into the heart so the bear comes alive', but this person doesn't say anything. He's pretty glad he doesn't have to play along.

"Hang on, Fe," Sylvain says, just as Felix goes to put the heart in his bear. Felix pauses, and when he does so, Sylvain leans over and presses a kiss to his fingertips, his lips brushing the heart.

"What are you-" he manages, knowing that he's going bright pink. They're in  _ public.  _

But Sylvain just smiles. "I thought I'd show the cat some love before it comes to life. No harm in that, right?"

Felix snorts. "It's not going to be alive," he says, but he can't stop the smile from spreading on his face.

Sylvain gasps. "Fe, how can you say something like that? You'll hurt their feelings!"

"What will they do, hug me to death?" he shoots back. His eyes met Sylvain's for a moment, and they both burst into laughter.

"Are you ready, sirs?" the person at the machine asks, and Felix suddenly feels very watched. But they were watching  _ and  _ listening, and Sylvain didn't even refer to him by his full name. It feels good to hear them get it right, like no one else sees all the feminine aspects of him.

The stuffing doesn't take long, and Felix is happier than he wants to admit when the newly filled cat is placed into his arms. "Alright!" Sylvain says, his hand tugging against Felix's once more. "Now we have to give them some clothes."

"We don't  _ have  _ to," Felix protests, but Sylvain isn't hearing it.

"We absolutely do," he fires back. "They'll be naked otherwise."

"Sylvain, they're inanimate stuffed representations of animals," he says. "There's nothing about that which requires any clothing."

Sylvain just laughs. "I want them to have clothes anyway," he says. "Come on, you should pick some stuff out. Your fashion sense is way better than mine, so I'm leaving it up to you to dress the bears."

"Can we even call them bears?" Felix asks, hoping Sylvain will let him deflect the compliment. He definitely does  _ not  _ have a good dress sense most of the time, at least not one that can rival Sylvain's. Maybe he has his moments, but this isn't one of them.

"I'm calling them bears," Sylvain says. And maybe he picks up on the trajectory of Felix's thoughts, because he squeezes his hand. "Are you alright picking clothes out for them? We can head out early instead if you want."

"I'll pick something out if you're serious," Felix says. He looks down at himself as if to verify how bad his dress sense is and regrets it immediately; he knows, logically, that no one here is watching him and questioning his gender, but he can't help but see all the wrong things anyway.

"Deadly serious," Sylvain says firmly, and Felix finally manages to tear his eyes away from himself to look at all the tiny pieces of clothing ahead of them.

Intent on taking this  _ just  _ as seriously as Sylvain, Felix dares to let go of his hand to rifle through all the bear-shaped hangers. There's a moment where he wonders if it's a mistake, but he doesn't feel quite as untethered as he expected to, even with all the pressures of the people in the shop potentially watching him.

It's easy to leaf through all the different items, pondering what Sylvain might like, or what might go well with the black and white of his own bear. There are jackets, hats, dresses... Felix brushes past the most brightly coloured ones until his eyes catch something in particular. He snorts and pulls it off the shelf.

When he glances back at Sylvain, the man is just watching him. There's a tiny, fond smile on his face and his eyes are so full of warmth that Felix has to look away. He goes back to looking through the clothes, picking out a denim jacket for his cat.

"I think your bear would like this," Felix says, thrusting the little hanger he pulled out earlier in Sylvain's direction. He's rewarded with exactly the reaction he hoped for; the moment Sylvain sees the miniature red satin pants, he bursts into peals of laughter. Felix can feel it in his chest, and his smile grows to match Sylvain's.

"And I think yours would like this," Sylvain says, holding up his own acquisition in turn. It's a sword, because of course it is.

"It makes absolutely no sense for a cat to have a sword," Felix points out, but he takes it anyway. He wants to give his cat this tiny, pathetic felt sword.

It’s only when they reach the tills that Felix realises  _ just  _ how successfully Sylvain has distracted him from the way he felt. His limbs are no longer heavy, and thinking about opening his mouth to speak no longer has him second guessing the sound of his voice. He can lean against Sylvain's side as he pays with confidence that no one will look at him and see him as girly eye candy on Sylvain's arm.

In the end, they name the cat Mikleo and the red panda Sorey. Felix pretends he doesn't know what the names mean when Sylvain suggests them, accepting under mock duress. He thinks it's pretty cute, though.

On the way back home, the weight in Felix's chest lightens just enough to join in with Sylvain's singing. He keeps his voice quiet, mostly under his breath, but Sylvain notices. He graces Felix with a small, tender smile, and hits the high note with a vigour Felix hasn't heard in quite a while.

"Thanks," Felix says, once they're inside again. He holds Mikleo under his arm, and he fumbles over the word enough that he feels like a child. But it's out in the open, and that's what matters.

Sylvain smiles and dips into a bow. "It was my pleasure," he says. "Did you want to do anything more now?"

Felix shakes his head. There's a dull ache still forming behind his eyes, and he doesn't want it to get any worse before the day's end. "I'm pretty worn out," he admits. "I'm not going to nap or anything, but I think it'd be good to settle down to rest."

Sylvain nods. "Want me to join you?" he asks.

Felix narrows his eyes. "Don't you have stuff to do?" he asks. Sylvain  _ always  _ has things to do - preparation for work, friends that need to be contacted, a hundred and one different hobbies that he could work on. He doesn't need to spend (and his mind hesitates on 'waste', but he knows Sylvain doesn't consider their date a waste) his time lazing around in bed with Felix.

Sylvain just shrugs. "Most of my plan for tonight was cooking," he says. "All the rest can wait until tomorrow, honestly. So we could just order some food and call it a day?"

Felix is, of course, aware that Sylvain has a bit of a tendency to put other people's desires before his own. But he can't say he isn't tempted. "You up for something spicy?" he asks, and Sylvain's answering grin is the only thing he needs to convince him.

They end the day with two containers full of the spiciest curry Felix could find on the menu of the local takeout. Once the meal is done, they settle down in bed, Felix tucked neatly into Sylvain's lap. In his own lap are the two bears; soft, warm, and comforting.

Felix can relax into Sylvain's touch in a way he couldn't earlier that day, and he's glad for it. Hopefully, for now, the worst is behind him, and he can bask in the happiness Sylvain always brings to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed, leaving a kudos/comment is super appreciated. I also have a twitter over at @samariumwriting where I tweet about writing, among other things :)


End file.
